Cathy's blog

You might not know this about me but I love dancing.

When I was a teenager, I always had a pretty early curfew, so my BFF and I would head out early and claim the dancefloor, even before anyone else was on it. Did people find us strange, weird, and probably a teeny tiny bit nerdy? You bet!

Did we care? Not in the least — we were having a blast.

Do you know what I love even more? Couple dancing.

Ballroom, salsa, Argentinian tango, Lindy Hop? I’ve tried and enjoyed them all.

Well, mostly. Because when it comes to couple dancing, you need a good dance partner.

There have been way too many moments that I wondered if it would be feasible to salsa in safety shoes... And admittedly, some of that was my own fault.

When I first started dancing, I was very impatient (still am, but I learned better how to *channel* it 😄 ). So whenever my dance partner would hesitate, I’d take over. I’d steer them across the dance floor, with just a tiny hint of dominance 😉 I can only imagine how uncomfortable (and frustrating) that must have been for my dance partners. And honestly? It was uncomfortable for me too.

When I finally learned how to follow (soooo hard for me), I experienced that there are some excellent leaders, and, well, some lousy ones 😬😬

So what makes the difference?

Of course, a good dance partner knows how to move to the music, but also, they’re in sync with their partner.
They do take the lead, but they also feel, observe, and adapt their style and speed to the style and level of competence of their partner.

The lousy ones? They’re in their own little world of how things should be — and just drag you around the dance floor in any way they see fit. And if afterwards, you feel like you’ve been running a marathon — tied to the back of a car — they just look at you in a condescending way 😉

This capacity to pace (adapt your style) and lead simultaneously, is just as important in communication.

When you want to genuinely connect with someone — whether IRL or on social media — you need to be able to switch gears all the time.

Don’t dominate the conversation completely and don’t outsource it to the other person either. Your best ally in doing that? Asking questions! And then... listening deeply.

You got this!

(Psst want to learn how to become a rockstar at listening? Download my free mini-guide here!)