Cathy's blog

I used to moan and complain - a lot - even if it was only in my head.

I felt that if only these other people would just behave differently, if only I were smarter, more courageous, ... life would be so much better.

Complaining didn't help. It only made me feel more helpless.

By moaning and complaining, you give others (the ones you moan and complain about) the responsibility for your wellbeing, for your life.

Because complaining stops you from taking action, complaining stops you from looking at what you can do to change things, make things better.

Complaining puts you in waiting mode, for others to get their act together and make your world a better place.

They won't. And your complaining isn't helping.

Talk to the person, not about them. Only in conversation will you (potentially) be able to solve your issues.

Or don't talk to them - but then find a way for you to be able to live with the situation, without adding any more negativity.

Every time we complain, we add negativity to the world.

And for most complainers, that was actually what they wanted to others to stop doing.

Because we mostly complain about negative people: the unfriendly ones, the selfish ones, the lazy ones.

We feel that they are making our lives difficult.

Have you ever stopped to think about your own complaining (and we all do it, every day - some just more than others, some just more vocal than others)?

Have you ever realized the impact that complaining has on you? 

You're the one suffering from your own complaining. It takes away energy, it takes away happiness, it takes away possibility.

Catch yourself when you start complaining.

Then ask: what can I do about this, that would make things better? (even if it's just 1%)

As soon as you do that, you put yourself in the driver's seat. That gives energy, that builds confidence.