Cathy's blog

Never make the same mistake twice! That's what I thought when we finished our company website 3 years ago. I'd learned what went wrong, what I should do differently. Creating the Impact Habits website from scratch was gonna be a breeze.

It wasn't.

When reality doesn't match your expectations, there's frustration. 

Unfortunately, when we feel like that, it's easy to become stuck in the popular evergreen, commonly known as THEY SHOULD.

• They should know this!

• They should have done that

• It's their job, isn't it?

• How can they not know?

• You really would expect them to ...

You get the gist.

The thing is - most of these things are true. If you hire a specialist to design your website, they should be able to translate unclear non-tech talk into clear specs. If you install new windows in your home, you expect them to keep your floors dry even when it rains outside. 

And yet, in reality, even the most "logical" of expectations aren't always met. 

Sometimes, it's just a question of realigning expectations. Of having a discussion, asking questions, finding out where things went wrong, and fixing them. Easy.

But sometimes, it's more structural. You already had the conversation - multiple times. And things are not moving.

What do you do then? Let me share what works for me: 2 simple habits that kept me from throwing in the towel.

1. I talk to my husband. Daniël is a great listener, who gets frustrated by other things than me (we have different triggers). His presence calms me down (his hugs even more :-)). Talking to him stops the broken record in my head. Once I've calmed down, he'll help me get perspective. Who can be that sounding board for you?

2. I ask myself: what's helpful here? What can I do to get closer to the result I want? What can I do to get my website designer on board? Even if it's not my job, not my responsibility, and someone else "should" be doing it. In the end, getting to the desired result is more important to me than "being right".

I'm not saying it's always easy - it isn't. 

It takes persistence and willingness to change your focus from "who's right" to "what's helpful". 

It's much more comfortable to stay in the blame game. But trust me, you don't want to reside there.

If you want to see results, if you don't want to stay stuck in anger, frustration, or disappointment, there's only one way. 

Get out of your head. Do what it takes. Move on. Repeat as needed.

You got this!