Cathy's blog

We spend so much time building up the right arguments.

Looking at the situation from all angles, so we're prepared for any question that might come our way.

Maybe you've rewritten that email already 3 times, just to get it right.

You've reviewed the numbers, polished the slides, included some more relevant details.

You've covered the whole rational, logical, added value side of your proposal. That's what we call the *blue axis* of the relationship.

But what if people still don't *buy* it? What if they still shrug their shoulders and give you the dreaded: *that won't work*, or even worse: *we've tried that already, it didn't work*.

Then maybe it's time to focus on the *red axis* of your relationship - the emotional side, the connection, the trust. The relationship between people, not ideas.

Ask yourself these 3 questions:

If I say *this* - how is the other person going to feel?

Take your best guess - no crystal ball or psychology degree needed. And just realize that the smarter, the more perfect, the more bulletproof your idea - the bigger the chance that the other person will feel threatened.

Is that how I want to them to feel?

Do you want them to feel intimidated, uncomfortable, scared? Or do you want them to feel confident & ready to make a decision?

How can you change your approach to create the clarity AND the connection you want?

One of the easiest ways to do this, is to start talking about your ideas early on. If you present someone with the final outcome, you haven't invested in the red axis of the relationship at all.

But if you talk to the person you want to get on board before your proposal is final, you create the safety for the other person that their ideas and input are important, that you want to listen to them. By bouncing off ideas first, instead of presenting someone with a final take it or leave it proposal, you create a connection.

And that connection is what makes the difference.

You got this!