Cathy's blog

Have you noticed?

The people and the situations that tend to push your red buttons are limited in number.

If you would take pen and paper and write them down – you probably won't be able to fill a page.
It's always the same people. It's always the same kind of situations. The usual suspects.

And that's good news. Because it means that most of the time – you can prepare yourself 😉

In one of my last corporate jobs, I had a manager who needed a lot of time to think. And I mean... a lot of time! Uncomfortable silences (at least from my perspective) became a whole new thing for me. And I stepped into my own frustration, again and again. I would squirm in my seat, interrupt, make things worse. For the both of us.

Until I started preparing.

On my way to work (#thebenefitsoftrafficjams), I would go over my schedule in my mind, and spot my *usual suspects*.

A meeting with my boss. A call with that new arrogant colleague.
Instead of vaguely thinking: *this is going to be a nightmare again* - I would ask myself:

"What can I do differently?"
"What could make this meeting better, even if just 1%?"

And the things I could do might have seemed futile (I'll just listen and wait until he speaks again) – but their impact over time was unbelievable.

At first, instead of suffering and undergoing, I started to feel that I had at least some control. I was at least partially in the driver's seat.

And then I started discovering that waiting for his thought process to be over, was often really worth the wait. And that, when I stopped pushing and interrupting so much, things actually went quicker.

The second advantage? Over time, it became a habit. I don't have to prepare as much for every meeting. Just a quick check-in with myself is enough to be intentional about a meeting. Not just the content – but also, and especially, the interaction, the relationship.

You know your usual suspects.

Don't let them surprise you. Decide what you want to do differently.

You got this!